Why Forgive? (Matthew 18:21-35)

Why Forgive?  (Matthew 18:21-35)

Collin Leong.  January 24, 2016

Passage:

So, here comes Peter trying to be a hero again. Peter knew the Pharisee's teaching that one only ought to forgive one's offender 3 times for the same offense. Peter suggested seven times to Jesus - surely, the Lord will be very impressed with his graciousness. But he was embarrassed instead when Jesus responded, "not seven times, but seventy times seven times!" 

Like you, Peter might instinctively start to compute the result of that equation, but being an unschooled fisherman, he was probably a bit stumped. "It's four hundred and ninety!" Matthew whispered urgently into Peter's ear.  As you know, Matthew was good at math from his job as a tax collector, I mean, financial consulting - background. Jesus must have then clarified with a sigh, "Look guys, it's not about the number of times. There's no limit. But more importantly, it's how well you forgive."

Jesus proceeded to give a parable where a king's servant owed his master ten thousand talents. Now, in those days, a talent is equivalent to 20 years of a laborer's pay. Even if this servant had a salary twice that amount, it would have taken him 100,000 years to pay it back! Jesus used a totally ridiculous  sum of money to show how impossible it is for the servant to pay it back (though he was willing to do so), and also how gracious the king was to totally forgive the whole amount with no strings attached whatsoever. 

Now this ungrateful servant turned around and ordered a man who owed him a hundred denarii to be put in jail. A hundred denarii is only a hundred days worth of a laborer's pay. What is ridiculous here is not just the small sum of money that could have been paid off in less than a year, but how will the poor man work to pay it off if you put him in jail? Even his fellow colleagues see the appalling injustice here and reported it back to the king.

Principle:

Here we see the absurdity of the spirit of unforgiveness. All of us have been forgiven of sins so big and so serious that in order to forgive us our debt, the Son of God had to suffer and die on the cross. I would hazard a guess that God puts the value of Jesus a lot more than 10,000 talents, wouldn't you agree? Yet, we would not forgive those who had offended us in some ways. In addition, sometimes, we "lock up" the offender in a cell block of our minds and refuse to give him a chance to make it up to us; though, in true forgiveness, there is no requirement for the offender to "pay it back", in the same way God does not require us to pay back our debts to Him. Forgiveness is by grace alone, and grace has been given to us to do precisely what we are unable to do on our own. Grace must change us, passed on, so that it can change the other person.

When we refuse to truly and completely forgive our offender, it means a few things, even if we don't realize it consciously. Firstly, it could be due to pride - "I am very important to me, and I'm not going to forgive you as if what you've done to me is unimportant."  

Secondly, it could be due to self-righteous judgment - "What you've done cannot be forgiven because it is too wrong", but yet we forget God has already forgiven Him on the cross. When we can't forgive someone whom God had already forgiven, we are subconsciously saying "I am more righteous than God".  

Thirdly, it may be due to spiritual blindness - Jesus said, before you point out the splinter in your brother's eye, first pull out the beam in your own eye. In other words we are blind to our own sin and offenses we caused, and yet overly concerned about the sin or offense someone else causes. Would it have been better if we seek for forgiveness, before we demand apologies from the other person?

Harboring an offense in our hearts is like eating too much high-cholesterol foods (prawn, curry, bacon, etc.)  The cholesterol chokes the arteries and prevents blood from flowing freely to and fro from the heart. There's only that much the heart can handle before a heart attack occurs. It is known that bitterness, anger, impatience, guilt and other unhealthy emotions build up in a person unable to forgive someone. (Ironically, the offender often do not know what is going on and are not affected at all.) Soon, these emotions cause other problem in the body and mind. This dilapidated condition aggravates the behavior, sensibility and attitude of the unforgiving person and the vicious cycle goes on. The more our veins are free of unforgiveness (and guilt from not being forgiven), the more grace can flow through our being and pass on to others.

Practice:

Back to the story of the unforgiving servant - so, the king found out his outrageous attitude and decided to do the same to him - "Let's see you pay back 100,000 years of wages while in jail!" And Jesus finished off by saying "so also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Note Jesus said "forgive from your HEART". Its easy to forgive with our brain, but it's evident when we don't do it from the heart. The sense of injustice and the nagging grudge is still there. Some people have said, "I cannot forgive him from the heart until he genuinely repents." Did God forgive us after we repent? No, "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Jesus also said, "if you bring your gift to the altar and remember there is something between you and your brother, leave your gift and go and settle it with him." Also the hypothetical person who would offend Peter 490 times was obviously not genuinely repentant in the first 489 times. 

Some others might say, "I have forgiven him, but he has to pay me back." (If money is not involved, then it's about making me feel good again.) As we mentioned earlier, God never expects us to pay Him back. He only wants us to be reconciled to Him again. Some offenders may not know how or how much he had offended you. Other offenders may not be able to pay it back, say, suicide bombers or someone who had passed away while waiting for your forgiveness. If they cannot pay it back, then the logic of harboring offense that harms yourself until it's paid back is illogical. As disciples of Christ, our attitude is that Christ will pay me back for any loss, and any exacting of revenge or pay-back from the offender is God's prerogative, not ours.

A good example of someone who had genuinely forgiven without waiting for repentance and without asking to be paid back was Joseph the son of Jacob, in how he forgave his brothers who had tried to kill him and sold him off as a slave into Egypt. In fact, Joseph treated his brothers kindly when re-united in Egypt. The memories of pain was still with Joseph, but he was determined to forgive from the Heart. And whenever those memories come, he reminded himself to forgive again, and again, and again, saying "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." Joseph knew whatever had happened, God allowed it to happen for his good too.  If not, Joseph would have been a bitter slave and angry prisoner and would never had the qualities that made him the prime minister of Egypt. 

Not many of us will encounter offenses so terrible as that of Joseph, yet how many times have we react much worse to our offenders? A lawyer friend told me that he had seen a divorce that started from arguments over the right way to squeeze toothpaste onto the toothbrush. (If they had come to me for counsel, I would have told them each to have their own personal tube of toothpaste.). So what are you mad about? Really?

So it's good to be prepared and understand what should be the forgiving mindset of a disciple of Christ before something really bad happens. Start by listing some names and offenses that come to mind. Ask God for grace to forgive from the HEART, even if the person is unrepentant or unable to pay you back. Who knows, perhaps the genuine mercy, forgiveness and grace you grant that person is what he needs to repent and become your best friend.

Matthew 18: 21-35

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.“When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. “But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.

"But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to chokehim, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ “So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ “But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. 

"So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. “Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’“And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. 

"My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.”