IDMC 2024: Family Under Attack

IDMC 2024: Family Under Attack

Collin Leong. September 3, 2024

These are notes I took from the August 2024 IDMC Convention. Note that not all are from the speakers. I have mixed in with my own words and sentences too. 


Family Under Attack - Rev Dr Peter Tan-Chi

The Bible has warned that the second and third generation of Christians may go astray. 

In Judges 2:7-10, it described that the people served the Lord in the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who has seen all the great work God had done for Israel. However, in verse 10, it says: "... there arose another generation after them who did not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel"  and the result was "the people of Israel did was was evil in the sight of the Lord" (v11)

1 Samuel 4, it tells the story of how Eli's son, Hophni and Phinehas were guarding the ark of the covenant of God. However Israel lost the battle, and both of them died. When this was told to Eli, he fell down from his seat and broke his neck.  These happened because "the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord." (1 Sam 2:12).  Eli lost his sons because he did not discipline his sons when they were young. His rebuke of his son in 1 Sam 2:22-25 were too little and too late.

God had told us to "fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long."  and that "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."  (Deut 6:2, 5-9)

God wants us to love him with all your heart, soul and all your might. Your wife will not accept your proposal if you give 99% of love to her, and the other 1% to another woman. 

This is how you can build a good family: It's called MRI - Modeling, Relationship, Intentionality 

1) Modeling - Children copy us whether we do it negatively or positively. They follow our actions more than they follow our talk. Modeling is not perfection, but is authentic. We must be humble, admitting we made mistakes too. You must be what you want your children to be; because they will be who you are.

2) Relationship - The closer the relationship the more you can influence them. The closer the children to their parents, the less they will be influence by their friends. 1 Cor 15:33 says "Do not be deceived: "Evil company corrupts good habits."

How can we improve relationship?  Use ACT:

  • Affirmation. To praise them and to encourage them verbally. To say "I'm proud of you." This is especially after a discipline. Affirm them so that they know they are accepted even if they fail. 
  • Communication. To listen. This is the way to understand the heart of your child. Do not act or say anything that slams the communication. Put the phones away so that the attention is on each other.
  • Time. To spend time with them, so that can enter into the world of your next generation.

 If you do not have their hearts, you will not have their mind.

3. Intentionality - When they are wounded by us, they don't tell you. They just avoid you. We must be humble ourselves and ask them how can I improve, or how have I hurt you, or will you forgive me?

Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." 

We must learn how to you break his will without breaking his spirit.  Ten years from now, how do u see your children? We need to start preparing now. 

 




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